Last night we had a drama over peas. What happens is that a very very small portion of whatever vegetables the rest of us are eating are placed nonchalantly by me on to Freddie's plate. I have taken on board the whole "take the heat out of eating" line and don't refer to the offending articles of greenness on his plate. I don't draw attention towards them. He eats around them like a small bird pecking out bits of breadcrumbs. And at the end of the meal, of course, the peas are there waiting... He looks up at me and the bargaining begins. "If I eat two peas is that enough?" I am used to him starting the bids low. "Now Fred there are only seven peas on your plate, can't you just eat them? ". He then starts to turn pale. He slumps down into his chair and fiddles with his cutlery, accidentally on purpose knocking them onto the floor to create a diversion. I remain very calm and come in with my next bid. Five peas. Just eat five small green peas you can have pudding. Now I don't care if this breaks every child-rearing rule if it works. Trouble is it doesn't work. To cut a long drama very short, its peas or bust. No peas, no pudding. By then all of us have finished our meal. My husband has tried reasoning with him. My daughter has offered to eat them for him in return for two puddings and they are now elbowing each other. What happened to the nice family meal? I don't know how the Waltons did it. I don't remember them arguing over the kitchen table over peas. And there were five times as many children.In the end freddie's love of puddings persuades him to eat four peas. No more - no less. Four measly specks of green. And to cap it all as he places them in his mouth he retches. Then I feel sorry for him.
You might be thinking does it matter if he eats them. Well no, of course not in the grand scheme of things, it matters zippo. But its the same WHATEVER vegetable I give him. We have dramas over peas, carrots, courgettes, broad beans, green beans, avocados, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions - everything but potatoes. Sweetcorn he will eat reluctantly. He picks everything off pizza, sieves soup, searches in casseroles to extract any trace of vegetable. Its not a pretty sight. If it really were just peas that made him retch of course he wouldn't have to try. But surely he can't ban every goddam vegetable on the planet. Now if any of you have any neat ideas with peas, send them my way. I'll try them out. And I promise not to retch.
